Relationships

In Times Past, and Somewhere in Between

by David King on June 20, 2013

Once upon a time, things were easy.

That’s the curse of adulthood though, isn’t it – to look upon the past with eyes of envy and regret. It is how most lives are played out, with one foot rising toward the future and the other planted firmly in the past. To free it, to loosen it from its grip, is to truly live.

But it is not without its sacrifices, for the past is who we are. The past is everywhere we’ve ever been; it’s every breath we’ve taken, every word we’ve ever spoken, every memory formed. We are very little, it would seem, without these pasts that restrict us so.

This is the predicament of adulthood; the challenge of moving forward in time. We are all caught in it, at some point along the way. Some fare worse than … Keep Reading Here

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Something Less than Decent

by David King on April 27, 2013

We have become complacent. And in error, we desire to be content, above all else.

In my early twenties, I had come to the conclusion that judgment was indeed something to be avoided, at least consciously, in so much that I had no right to compare my losses to those of others; no right to judge my experiences as better or as worse. By extension, I had no right to offer advice either directly or narrowly, for to do so required a judgment of what was best for someone else. Such judgments once seemed reckless, for who was I? Whether it was complacency per se, I am not quite sure. But despite its original intentions of respect and political correctness (as well as a recognition of the natural variability in human experience and perception), my commitment to all suggestions absent … Keep Reading Here

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I’ve avoided writing about the gay marriage debate because I thought my stance was too obvious. I’m gay, and more importantly, I’m a human being in favor of equal rights – and so I obviously support gay marriage.

And I do. But this debate has become a distraction of sorts, particularly in North America.

Historically, marriage actually started out as something much closer to civil union, particularly in Ancient Greece and later throughout Europe. Hereditary lines and property rights were the priorities of the times. Until the late 16th century, even Christian marriages required only mutual consent and physical union, without the presence of a priest or witnesses.

Appropriately, a verbal promise between the parties took place, called the verbum. It could be stated privately, without witnesses: “I marry you.” It was binding, legally, and recorded as such … Keep Reading Here

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Pieces Collected Along the Way, All of Us

by David King on December 14, 2011

I walk down the street, and a stranger makes eye contact. She smiles, and continues passing by.

Sometimes, when I look closely, I see myself as a collection of everyone else. In truth, maybe that’s all we are – pieces collected along the way.

In the last three years, I have nearly drowned in anecdotal evidence of the idea that life isn’t always what we expect. And indeed, I have had very few recent expectations actually materialize. In some cases, expectations ended traumatically, while others drifted more slowly.

But there is beauty in the breakdown, or so they say. The greatest gift of life lies not in the materialization of one’s dreams and visions, but in the amazing ability of life to show you that the impossible is never rightly so; and that dreams and visions matter but they stand … Keep Reading Here

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To be alone, or not to be alone…is there a question?

by David King on November 5, 2010

There is an old adage that we’ve all heard, directed at us or someone around us, that goes something like this: “You need some time alone.” Or similarly, “Some time to yourself will do you good.” Many individuals further adopt this as a lifestyle of sorts, bragging about how much they’re “too busy for a relationship” or “enjoy living alone.”

The former of these may be the most irritating, for they are wrought with assumptions and presumptions and condescensions. None of us has the right to suggest to another that they should deny their natural mammalian drives to pursue social interactions and to find a mate. And sure, perhaps we’ve somewhat overcome these “simpler” needs and drives in light of our heightened self-consciousness, but even so, being aware of ourselves as separate, distinct beings surely only reinforces our need to … Keep Reading Here

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The Inevitabilities of Love and Regret

by David King on September 6, 2010

Eight years ago, I wrote the following: “Regret is a completely unnecessary feeling in life.”

I lied.

My reasoning behind this statement went something like this: Follow your heart, do what you feel is right in the moment, and doing so will essentially prevent regret, so long as such philosophy remains at the forefront of your thoughts. This may be an ideal, but it has (seemingly) worked well for me for the past decade. What I have learned in the past couple of months, however, is that no matter the extent of dedication to one’s gut reactions or “heart,” regret is still very possible and in some cases (like NOW), it is all-consuming. I do not say this lightly, for my dedication to the ideal was quite solid and unwavering. Nevertheless, I now find myself in a situation where regret … Keep Reading Here

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Throughout life, there exist moments in which time slows nearly to a halt. These moments are offset by equally startling (yet less indulgent) moments in which time moves at an impossible speed, propelling us into a future with which we’ve barely engaged or considered. In either moment, however, the result is the same: Time ceases to exist.

These moments are often enriched by the rare experience of flow – the perception of a momentary existence void of any past or present, any self-conscious considerations, any negative emotions, and any worry or concern. To stumble upon these moments is surely nothing short of miraculous, as they validate a human existence which is not at all meaningless, regardless of an individual’s convictions.

And then there are signs, synchronistic indications that you are on the right path (or perhaps rather, that there is … Keep Reading Here

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